Normality
by Clio S.S
Summary: And they lived happily ever after. KeithxMatsuka. Silly, absurd and definitely not sane. Well, it's a definition of crack, isn't it? Warning: It may insult your intelligence, so read only if you are prepared. Hope you like it anyway!


The reason why Keith had decided to defy the System was simple: at some point he had realized that it wouldn't have let him marry Matsuka, which had become his priority. Existence or non-existence of the Mu made no difference to him - except, of course, that Matsuka was a Mu, too, but a half-assed one, so it didn't really count - and, besides, it was Jomy who had done most job. Keith had made his entrance at a crucial moment, unplugged Grandmother and become a hero. And, finally, he was free to do what he really wanted.

It was a new order, now, almost a new world, and he had Matsuka, home and work. He had always hoped to have a normal job he could leave for in the morning, and a home he could come back in the evening, instead of sweating round the clock and thinking on others' account. Universal Control had been converted into Bureau of Counselling of kind or another; people weren't controlled any more, but could be advised instead. Or something like this.

This morning, like every day, he kissed his spouse goodbye and left for work to earn their living like any other adequate citizen.

#

Matsuka was left with a problem.

Serge had once told him he was a weakling who knew nothing more than how to serve coffee. Now, having a house to keep, he was slowly realizing Serge might be the keenest man in the universe - except Keith, of course. But not this time. Somehow, Keith had assumed Matsuka would run his home and cook for him, and Matsuka wasn't really sure whether he liked it or not although, of course, he would do anything for Keith.

He had absolutely no idea about cooking.

The first day, he had run to the Italian restaurant round the corner and bought a pizza.

The second day, he had run to the same place and bought a pasta.

The third day, which was today, the restaurant was closed due to stocktaking, so he ran to McDonald's and bought two sets. In all the confusion, he had forgotten to take his apron off, and now it was fluttering behind him. Though, he really didn't know what he need it for, anyway. To look like a proper housewife, maybe.

Ha ha.

#

In the evening, Keith came back from work and greeted his spouse with a kiss like every day. However, he frowned at the sight of potato chips and gave Matsuka a questioning look. Matsuka sighed and brushed his hair away as it was falling into his right eye again. Cute.

"Keith..." he started, and Keith had to refrain from kissing him. This time not as a greeting.

Something must have happened to his hearing - blame all those the space trips, perhaps - for, whenever he heard Matsuka speaking his name, he was sure it was a beg for kissing.

Not that it made any difference.

"Keith..." Matsuka repeated, clearly troubled. Keith collected himself. "You see, Serge once said..." And then he revealed his secret.

Keith wondered whether he should feel as if his world had just collapsed. His ideal world: him going to work and Matsuka's cooking at home.

No, it didn't collapse. After all, he had it much better than Jomy, who, after having achieved his goal, had left for another space odyssey. Searching his own happiness - someone who would at least _want_ to cook him? Keith had always said it was all about the priorities. Or, maybe, a local climate disagreed with him?

Matsuka looked as if he was going to burst in tears. _'Serge, you bastard,'_ Keith thought to ease himself, although it was not where the rub was.

"I like your coffee very much," he said, swallowing down the last of his disappointment. Matsuka gave him a thankful look.

It didn't, however, solve the problem. Keith knitted his eyebrows and tapped his finger on the forehead like he used to do whenever he wanted to extract a solution from his brain. He blinked when a new message with an attachment appeared in his mind. He could see its content as clearly as if it was right before his eyes.

'Sonny,

make your mom proud and become a perfect husband. Here you have _Recipes for Every Day of the Universal Year_.

With love, Mother Eliza.'

He blinked again, slightly moved. He could always count for Mommy. It seemed that, concerned with his absolute evolution, she had equipped him with some other knowledge, in addition to how to execute orders, give orders and rule the galaxy. Well, she was a mother. And a woman; they used to think of everything, didn't they? Maybe he had been too cruel when he had sent her into atmosphere of the planet, after all - only because he had been jealous about the siblings she had kept in secret from him... He sniffed.

"Keith..." there was a concern in Matsuka's voice.

He leaned toward him and kissed him. "Mommy says her greetings," he said once they parted again.

Matsuka looked at him, completely bewildered. Right, they had never got a chance to meet... Would they have become friends? Nah, it was obvious; there was no-one who wouldn't like Mommy. He shook his head to sober himself.

"Starting tomorrow, _I_'m going to cook," he declared.

Matsuka blinked. His long eye-lashed always distracted Keith, so they kissed again.

"Then, I'm going to take care of a child room," Matsuka decided once he got used to the new situation.

Keith nodded, wondering whether it was the right time to inform his spouse it had to be a girl. Mommy would be so proud to have a granddaughter... And then they could obtain a boy, too. He had already thought of the names: Eliza and Shiroe. They sounded nice together, didn't they?

"As you wish," Matsuka agreed, although there was a hint of resentment in his voice. "I have one condition, though."

"Mhm?"

"_You_ will take a maternity leave."

Later, when he was drifting off to sleep in Matsuka's possessive arms - Matsuka muttering about how he was not going to wear that damn apron anymore - Keith once again realized that nothing could beat a normal life.


End file.
